Sunday, September 10, 2006


The beady-eyed amongst you may have noticed a rather nefarious comment from the mysterious monkeytwo, having a strop about the fact that 'a very close friend' has not been mentioned on my blog.

monkeytwo is, in fact my pest of a little sister, and just for the record, I am the original monkey. monkey is minifig's endearment for me, because I remind him of one, being that I chatter a lot, steal food and pick up stuff with my feet. I personally see the latter as a talent, but apparently it is positively simian. Anyway, monkeytwo (called so because her boyfriend also finds her to be a touch on the primitive side) is narked because she is yet to receive an extensive eulogy on her magnificence.

This post is therefore revenge, because while I think I look quite cute in this picture, my sister looks like a cross between an old man and a hamster.

However, it would be nothing short of criminal if I did not inform you all of her loveliness:

She is kind, considerate, thoughtful and above all, loyal and has seen Ronan Keating over 20 times since she first set eyes on him at a Boyzone concert in 1994 (aged 8). As you can tell from this, she is a strong supporter of charity.

She is supremely intelligent and has just finished her first year at university with flying colours, and no surprise if one considers her recent assessment on post-colonial literature 'all the same and all about poo and flowers' [she is actually a genius]

She always keeps in touch - especially on Sundays when she can bum a free Sunday lunch
[she did bring us a luscious dessert today from Spitalfields market though]

She's exceptionally beautiful and extremely stylish. I think this picture demonstrates this excellently: such poise, such grace. And check the hat.

She's a very insightful, entertaining conversationalist and letter-writer, once e-mailing me while I was travelling to update me on the fact that she had finally farted in front of her boyfriend. That was all the e-mail said. Nothing more was necessary. I didn't hear from her for another week.

But most importantly, she is monkeytwo, which means she is akin to monkeyone, which makes her my best friend and confidante, as well as the only person who can properly understand our parents, and therefore properly terrorise them on weekends home.

happy now, monkeytwo?

x you should be


At 12 September, 2006 16:09 , Blogger Alexandra said...

I wish I had a sister sometimes. A brother's all very well, but...

At 12 September, 2006 20:11 , Blogger darling vicarage said...

yeah, she's okay. Someone to bully during the summer holidays. I have an older brother too - also great for general mockery.


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